St. Patrick’s Day Pick-up Lines

 

I don’t have four leaves, but if you pluck me, I’ll give you luck!

Top of the morning to you… actually, I’d like to be on top of you in the morning.

Why don’t you come catch a leprechaun with me. Maybe together we’ll get Lucky!

Tip o’ the Trojan to ye!

Is that a shillelagh in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

So you actually kissed the Blarney Stone? Tongue or no tongue?

If you don’t sleep with me, the leprechauns have already won!

Lassie, it’s your ancestral duty to drive the snake out of my pants!

Well, lass, we’re the only ones still standing. How about a go?

Are you from Ireland? ‘Cause my dick’s-a-Dublin!

You look magically delicious, and I just happen to be a cereal lovemaker.

Well, ye caught me, lass! Now I can grant ye one wish, as long as it involves sex.

How’d you like to help put the Irish Spring back into me shillelagh?

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11 Mind-Blowing Ideas to Up Your Valentine’s Day Sex

1. Spice up your sex with some roleplay

Plan on meeting at a bar. Then, introduce yourself to your significant other when they happen to sit right next to you. From then on, you two can play out a situation with completely different occupations and names. The possibilities are endless! Then, take it back to the bedroom and end your roleplay fantasy with a bang.

2. Make a Spotify playlist

Include all your favorite sexy songs in one playlist specifically for Valentine’s Day. Pick your fave bops with different beats and tempos so you can enjoy allllll kinds of rides along your many sex sessions.

3.

Incorporate your fave foods

Who said dessert has to be served at the dinner table? Bring the ice cream, whipped cream, or fave sweet treat into the bedroom. Serve it on you and your partner, and voila—le best tasting dessert you could ask for.

4.

Have sex before dinner

Think about it: you have a delicious glass of wine, and another, and another. Then the dinner, then the dessert, and all of a sudden it’s midnight and you have work the next day. Full, buzzed, and exhausted aren’t always the best circumstances for boning. So get it on before you leave for your date instead, and spend the rest of the meal basking in a sexy afterglow. And you know, more wine.

5.

Or better yet, get it on the next morning.

You shouldn’t go into a holiday that’s supposed to be fun all worked up over expectations of sex. If it doesn’t naturally happen, that’s okay! There’s nothing quite like rolling over the next morning and whispering all the things you wish you had done last night into your partner’s ear. (You can be a little late to work).

6. Buy each other one new sexy item for the bedroom

7.

Get each other chocolate

Because what’s better than one box of chocolate? Two! It’s cheap, affordable, and super sexy when you’re dropping them into each other’s mouth.

8.

Do something fun, rather than sexy.

Some people are all about the candle-lit meal with the soft violin music, and if that’s you, go for it! But if all the extra bells and whistles aren’t really your style, it’s easy to feel like you’re forcing the ~romance~, which can leave you feeling anything but sexy. Instead, try an activity that focuses on togetherness and fun. Go bowling, see a movie, see a concert. An event that leaves you feeling connected might be more likely to inspire sexy times than a four-course dinner.

9.

Get a hotel room

If you live with hella roomies, this may be the most considerate option provided there’s a reasonable hotel deal you can track down. If not, an Airbnb getaway can give you guys the time to focus on yourselves, rather than your paper-thin walls.

10.

Spend the day sexting

If you shoot off quick, sexy missives of what you want to do to each other throughout the day, come night time you’ll have a hot script of your own to act out. Plus the build-up of anticipation is unbearable in the best way.

11.

Get them a gift card that’s really for you

If you really want to go all in on the This Is The Sex Holiday vibe, set a budget, buy a gift card to a lingerie store of your choosing, and write down your sizes with a note that says “you pick.” They get to see you in lingerie + you get to keep said lingerie.

12.

Register on Mature Sex Match and get laid tonight.

How to Get an Orgasm: 15 Sex Tips Get You Over the Edge.

1. Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay

“Foreplay first is important; it takes me longer to orgasm with penis-in-vagina intercourse, so giving me a head start before the real action gets going increases the odds of me orgasming from penetration. And, aside from that, it’s all about the G-spot, and positions that help stimulate it are key.” —Ana, 25

2. Clitoral Stimulation During Penetration

“Either coincidental rubbing against my clit (because of how he moves his body) or that oh-so-sexy feeling of his balls swinging against me works!” —J., 23

3. Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor

Strengthening your pelvic floor can result in better sex all around. “I didn’t have a vaginal orgasm until I started doing ballet barre and Pilates regularly! And then: bam! It happens almost every time! Who knew exercise was good for you in the sack?” —L.B., 34

4. Good Vibrations

“I get off from having an orgasm via clit stimulation first (like from a vibrator) while having penetrative sex, and then continuing penetration in a different position. Works every time!” —Ashley, 27

5. Have an Orgasm Before Sex to Have Another During Sex

“Being really wet and coming before his penis enters my vagina makes me more able to come again.” —Tamar, 32

6. Squeeze the Walls of Your Vagina

“Squeeze the walls of your vagina in and up simultaneously. If you have the benefit of a gym, go try a few reps on the ‘captain’s chair’—the sensation is similar. It may even make you orgasm (yes, even at the gym).” —Kristin, 30

7. Try a Penis Ring

A penis ring adds much-needed clitoral stimulation to intercourse. Considering that only a quarter of women say they consistently orgasm through intercourse, adding a penis ring can be just what you need to climax.

8. Try New Positions

Research has shown that it’s naturally easier for some women to orgasm than others thanks to factors like the distance between your vagina and your clitoris. Sure, you can’t suddenly alter your vaginal-clitoral ratio, but you can try some new moves to increase the odds you’ll have an orgasm the next time you have sex. Find out how to get an orgasm by trying new positions that might work better for your anatomy. “For me, on my back with my legs over his shoulders is like opening the front door to my G-spot. Instant orgasm.” —Sarah, 30

9. Take Control

“It has to be him on top to achieve the angle at which I’m getting consistent clitoral stimulation and controlling that stimulation. I do most of the grinding, and it’s actually better if he holds still. Having a penis in my vagina seems to help, but too much thrusting and I lose my rhythm, so usually I just tell him not to move.” —Cordelia, 30

10. Stay Present

“There is nothing better you can do than to really get your head in the game,” says Block. “Forget about work, the laundry, what you’re going to wear to that party and focus on nothing but the sensations you’re experiencing. And definitely don’t give any thought to how you look. Believe me, you look incredibly sexy to the person you’re with. That’s one of the reasons they’re with you!”

12. Communicate With Your Partner

Heard this one before? Well, that’s because it really is that important, but shockingly few of us speak up. “If your partner is just few inches above or below where you really like to be touched or if things are too fast, too slow, or just not doing it for you, say something! Trust me, your partner in crime wants to make you feel great, so let him or her know what does and doesn’t work for you,” says Block. “If you find it hard to talk about, try saying things like, ‘I love it when you…’ Or, ‘It would really turn me on if you’d…’ or even ‘Can I show you something?'”

13. Move Your Hips

“The human body is designed to move, and motion and vibration really get the female body going,” she says. So move around, be active, and make sure to get your hips into the action, no matter what position you’re in: “Lifting your pelvis to meet your partner’s hands or mouth or a toy you might be enough to up the orgasm ante.”

14. Don’t Compare Your Orgasm Clock with His

Typically, “more time is spent on what works for male partners (penetration) as opposed to what female partners really want and need (clitoral stimulation),” says Block. So, however it is you prefer to get your foreplay, make sure to enjoy it—and not to worry about how long it’s taking. You should never feel rushed; your body needs what it needs.

15. Make Noise

Moaning, talking dirty, whispering, shouting—whatever is your thing, do that, says Block. It’s perfectly OK to get loud. “Sex is a body/mind/spirit practice,” she says. “When you are wholly involved on all fronts, it’s so much easier to have an orgasm.”

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